Goodbye, Honduras.

I can’t even begin to figure out how to summarize the past 19 months… I left my home, my people, my culture and my language to give two years to strangers in a developing country. Giving up security, amenities and comforts is not easy. Making it through 3 months of 12 hour training days is trying. Living with several different host families can be frustrating. Arriving in a small town with just a suitcase (or 2) and little to no resources is overwhelming. Yet despite all of the challenges and personal struggles that all Peace Corps volunteers face, I still found myself bawling in the arms of my project boss at the airport when we finally had to part ways.

Typically, people spend the final few months of their service saying their goodbyes and wrapping things up in their communities. We got 22 days’ notice about the departure from our sites, and once I got back from my Christmas vacation (nearly half the volunteers in Honduras went home for the holidays) I had 5 days to say goodbye (possibly forever) to the town that became my home and the friends that became my family. My community heard about Peace Corps’ evacuation in the news, and saw my picture in the paper, but they still were all dying for me to tell them if it was true or not. Sadly, I told them it was, and thus began a whirlwind of lunch and dinner invitations, speeches about their gratitude for my service, vultures coming to see what possessions of mine they could claim, lots of hugs, and lots of tears.

The past year and a half has opened my eyes tremendously, and though it came with its string of mishaps, I wouldn’t trade a second of it. The Honduran Peace Corps staff is amazing, in particular my project team, Sandra (Youth Development director) and Ronaldo (Youth Development training specialist). Because of their passion and dedication to our project’s mission, my fellow youth volunteers and I were able to take our sites by storm and have their unconditional support through it all.

As a way to re-cap a little bit of what I went through since June 2010, here is a list:

1 parasite (giardia lambia)

1 incarceration

1 witness of a human corpse in the street

1 bacteria infection

1 bus stall (stuck in the mud for an hour)

2 cases of lice (I am shocked it was only 2)

2 Christmas caroling events, in Spanish of course.

2 birthday piñatas

2 successful grants written, accepted and received to fund projects

2 t-shirt making parties with other youth volunteers (we are a special breed for sure)

3 whistles

3 cell phones (things break much more easily in developing countries)

3 original Spanish children’s songs

3 times we were put on “standfast” which means we could not leave our sites (2 for political unrest/protests and 1 for the few weeks before our evacuation)

3 nation-wide teacher strikes

3 Spanish language interviews with Peace Corps

4 “super-star” moments (giving the president a Valentine, meeting the Olsen Twins, having my picture selected for the Peace Corps homepage, and being the picture in the Honduran newspapers article about Peace Corps’ evacuation)

4 birthday cakes (only 2 birthday’s… but Hondurans love cake!)

4 In-service trainings with Youth Development

4 overnight visits to fellow volunteers (I rarely left my site on account of always having a lot of work to do! I was saving a lot of visits for the last few months of service figuring I would have finished up a lot of projects… I guess this is why you really should live in the moment).

5 shirts torn from hand-washing them on the pila

6 weeks on medical evacuation in Washington DC

6 times pooping in a cup (for medical purposes, not a weird Peace Corps hobby)

7 sing-a-long songs that my teacher’s learned in English

7 stand-in moms

13 teachers who learned dynamic and participative methodology from me

20 (approx.) nail painting parties with kids who had never seen nail polish prior to my arrival

26 teacher observations where I went and sat in on their English classes to give
feedback

30 bucket baths (just one of my host families did not have running water- I lucked out!)

38 5th and 6th graders who hopefully feel more confident about themselves and will remember what they’ve learned about healthy relationships

40 lessons about brushing teeth

50 best friends under 6 years old

120 cards/letters/packages received from family and friends (a fairly accurate estimate as I could cover the entire back of my door with all the cards I had gotten)

300 (approx.) elementary school students who participated in a spelling bee and got excited about studying the list of words- they would literally run up to me in the streets and spell words they had been practicing

600 (approx.) high school students with more information on contraceptives and resources to help avoid teen pregnancy

13,500 hugs from the most impoverished kids in my town (assuming each day in site I received about 30, which might actually be an under-statement!)

27,000 cat-calls/gross gestures from men (an approximation, assuming each day in Honduras involved about 5 encounters)


Thank you to everyone who helped me through this experience- everyone from home who reluctantly let me pack my bags and move to the most violent country in the world, everyone in Peace Corps for their unfailing support, all 158 volunteers in Honduras for being part of something so special, my dear little town of Gracias and all it's people for welcoming me with open arms.... Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

The One with the Final Thoughts

As I sit here eating a sandwich and a cold glass of orchata that my landlady Imelda made for me, I am beginning to realize that this is it. In less than 48 hours I will be leaving my little town of Gracias, and then in 5 days I will be on a plan back to Boston. Like I said in my earlier post, I have many mixed feelings about leaving 7 months earlier than anticipated.

*I am relieved that I no longer have to live in such a dangerous country.

*I am sad to leave many good friends and coworkers who have treated me like family.


*I am heartbroken to leave the kids I’ve been working with, never being able to know if they’ll make it or not.

*I am grateful to have had a year and a half of amazing, life-changing experiences.

*I am overwhelmed with thoughts of returning to the developed world.

*And lastly, perhaps most importantly, I am satisfied with what I have made out of my Peace Corps experience- I accomplished what I came for, and even though I had more projects planned for the remainder of my service, I am still leaving with the notion that I have helped people, and that’s what this was all about.

I want to extend a hearty thank you to the Wayland Girl Scouts and their leader Angela for the clothing donation, and to Angi for the shoe donation. Both have been given out to the kids at the center where I work, and rest assured that they went to children who desperately needed them. Thank you for such a simple gesture; it goes a long way for hthese kids.


Another big thank you to Darien Book Aid, an NGO in Connecticut that donates 25lbs of new/gently used books to Peace Corps volunteers around the world. I requested children's books for the IHNFA and books/resources on drug prevention, sexual education and culture for the Youth Center. The donation came in while I was on med-evac, and I finally got a chance to give them to my organizations!

This has definitely been a bitter-sweet week saying goodbye to my Honduran home. It is sad to leave earlier than expected, but if I were leaving in August it would be sad just the same. I keep focusing on all I have accomplished rather than what I had planned and did not get to see through. Putting everything into perspective has helped me understand that regardless of the specific number of months I've served, I have still seen wonderful changes in the people and children with whom I've worked. They have helped me as much, if not more, than I have helped them, and I will forever hold a special place en mi corazoncito for Honduras.

The One Where Peace Corps Evacuates Honduras

On December 20th, 2011 the Peace Corps Honduras family was informed that due to severe security concerns, Peace Corps will evacuate all volunteers in mid-January. All volunteers who did not leave Honduras for the holidays were put on “standfast” meaning they cannot leave their sites. All volunteers already in the states for the holidays have been given the option of not coming back. On January 11th, we are all to travel to Tegucigalpa to attend a conference starting on January 12th. From there, we will all be sent home.

Awesome Christmas present, right?

I am equally devastated and relieved by this news. I have been uncomfortable with the security situation in Honduras since day one. I nearly peed my pants during our first safety and security training session with Juan Carlos (and during all sessions thereafter). But we were provided with excellent training to help us minimize our risks, and we have been consistently provided with staff support in regards to our personal safety. Nonetheless, we found out shortly after our plane landed on June 23rd, 2010 that we were sent to probably one of the most dangerous Peace Corps posts.

The situation in Honduras seemed much more manageable when we arrived, and I think volunteers would agree that especially this last year, more specifically the last 6 months, things have just skyrocketed out of control. I have always felt safe “enough” in my site, but not traveling. My trip from site to the capital, where the Peace Corps office is located can take about 8 hours, 8 hours of fear. In the beginning of my service I thought I was just paranoid, that yes, Honduras is dangerous, but no I was not constantly at risk. However, I have noticed a lot more concerns from fellow volunteers in the past months, especially when one of our own had a very serious incident about a month ago. I realized I was not the only one who was having a hard time with security. The part of me who has slept with one eye open for the past 18 months is relieved.

The part of me that has taught kids how to brush their teeth, how to use their imaginations, how to read, that has taught young girls how NOT to get pregnant and how to believe in themselves, and that has trained a motivated group of teachers how to teach English and how to incorporate more dynamic methodology practices in their own classrooms is devastated. Work-wise, I have had so much success in my site. My placement was perfect for me, and I have found my place in my little corner of Western Honduras. Ending this experience 8 months early is heartbreaking for me. I had projects planned for the remainder of my service and was so excited to see more progress from my teachers, my young girls, and my little kiddos. It is not fair to them to leave so many things unfinished, but I just have to hope that what I’ve done thus far has been as worthwhile for them as it has been for me.

Just to give you an idea of how Honduras compares to other dangerous countries, this graphic shows homicide rates per capita. (Source, The United Nations- Washington Post article).

Here are a few quotes from an article by the Washington Post to sum up the current situation in Honduras:

“The largest number of homicides occurred here around San Pedro Sula, a once-booming manufacturing center that is fast becoming the Ciudad Juarez of Central America.”

“It starts on the isolated beaches and jungle airstrips of Honduras’s Mosquitia region, where 95 percent of the suspected drug flights from South America to Central America land”

“At nearly every business here, from Burger King to the smallest mini-market, armed men with 12-gauge shotguns stand guard. Those who can afford it barricade their families behind razor wire, 10-foot walls and electrified fencing.”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re a good or a bad person here, or if you’re someone with a future,” said Irwin Santos, whose brother Deybis — a university student — was killed in 2008 in San Pedro Sula. “In the end, you become just another statistic.”

It is a real shame that things seem to be getting worse. The Honduran people have become my family over the last year and a half, and I am dreading having to tell them that I need to leave sooner than expected and won’t be coming back. This is their reality, no one is going to evacuate them.

I received this news the day after I got home for my Christmas vacation, and after much thought, I have decided to return to Honduras, go back to my site for about 5 days, pack up and say my goodbyes. I will then go to the conference where I will say goodbye to staff and volunteers who have supported me so much during the last year and a half.

The One with the Honduran Christmas Donkey!

Well, I am back in site after my 6 week medical evacuation in DC! But only for about a week and a half before my trip home for Christmas (weird timing, I know). I was given a warm welcome back to Honduras at the Peace Corps office then I set out on my 7/8 hour journey “home.” Since being back in Gracias, I have received three phone calls from people I spoke with in Washington, and from my Country Director, just checking in and making sure I made it back safely- how thoughtful! I am really happy about the way Peace Corps handled my med-evac, and appreciate all their support so much. Thanks, Peace Corps! You rock!


One thing that really moved me while I was traveling back to my site was I on one of my buses, and there must have been about ten women from a church group traveling together. In the middle of a trip they break out into song, and sing about God for about an hour. I told them as they got off how lovely it was to hear them sing…. In a country where you are at risk the majority of the time, it’s no wonder religion is so entrenched into daily life- it’s something to believe in, and it’s what keeps a lot of people going. I have always thought of myself as religious (not quoting the bible religious, but praying to God religious) but I fail in comparison! Every bus, moto-taxi, store, house, etc. is lined with images of Saints, Jesus, Mary… you pray at school, and at every public event whenever someone speaks, they thank God. At first I was overwhelmed by the lack of separation of church and state, but after being here a year and a half, I finally understand it.


Anyways… since I am back for just a brief period of time, what better way to spend it than doing fun Christmas activities with my little nuggets! Songs…glitter…glue… living the dream down here! I created a Spanish version of Dominic the Donkey, they LOVE it! The he-haw’s are getting better every day!

The volunteer community is anxiously awaiting important information about upcoming changes to increase volunteer safety and security in Honduras. There was an unfortunate incident last week, and it’s put us all a bit on edge. Our Country Director is at a meeting this week about this very topic, and we should be getting an update within the next few days. This is not the safest country in the world, in fact, it is one of the most dangerous… highest homicide rate in the world, but it is also the second poorest next to Haiti in the western hemisphere… They want Peace Corps here and we want to be here, but we need to be safe in order to do our jobs, so we will see what’s to come!

"You can't have Thanksgiving without turkey. That's like Fourth of July without apple pie, or Friday with no two pizzas."

Thanksgiving takes on a whole new meaning after living in a developing country. This experience has taught me so much about life, people, priorities and myself… my perspective is greater, my understanding is real and my ideals are grounded.

I came into this experience like many other Peace Corps hopefuls, wanting to “change the world” and “make a difference.” I cannot change the world- but I can make small changes in people. The differences I make will not alone drive a country into sustainable development, that would be absurd if it were that easy. But in the small town, in the small country in the small part of the developing world where I have been placed, I can touch lives. And I have. Well, I think I have. I hope I have.

For my birthday, one of my counterparts knit me a pink and yellow scarf so I’d be ready for the “cold” season. It took me a while to realize though, that the yarn she used was the same yarn I brought back to her after my trip home in August. I had a big thing of yarn and she went nuts over it, saying they don’t sell it where we live, and she asked if I could get her some when I was at home. This woman has looked after me as if I were her daughter so I had no problem bring her back 4 big things of colorful yarn I picked up at the Salvation Army. When I realized that she had made the scarf out of the yarn I gave her, I first thought that maybe she felt she “owed” me, but that’s not it. She wanted to give me something nice because she loves me, and didn’t want me to be too chilly when the “cold-fronts” arrived. She probably didn’t think twice about the fact that she was giving me back the gift I had given her. But the gesture was so sweet. She had taken something from a developed country, added her own touches to it, and made it real. In an annoying, I-can’t-believe-I-am-turning-my-birthday –scarf-into-a-metaphor-about- life kind of way, that scarf sums up my entire Peace Corps experience. I came in with my own ideals and views on life, Honduras slapped me in the face and said “Girl! You can’t change the world! But you sure can try!”


Fun fact: she drowned the scarf in some crazy strong Grandma perfume so it’d “smell nice” for me…. My room smelled like a fancy Grandmother for weeks.

So anyways, back to giving thanks…. Although I am always so grateful for my family and my friends and the outpour of support people gave me when they thought I was going to live in a “poop hut” with my own goat (that’s what you all imagined, right? When I said I was joining the Peace Corps?- it’s ok, I did too)…. Right now I want to express my gratitude for the last year and a half (and hopefully the next 9 months as well!)…. Honduras is not for everyone. It is not safe. It has awful roads. Minimal infrastructure. Political corruption. Drug trafficking. Gangs. Machismo. Bland food. BUT, it also has wonderful selfless people who might not always be on time for work or show up to your meetings, but at the end of the day, they accept you as family. Honduras is real, and it is willing to teach you a thing or two about life if you let it.

Now I need to go board a plane…. I am still on med-evac which means my parents bought me a ticket home for the weekend so I wouldn’t be alone on Thanksgiving! I’ve got two and a half weeks left in DC, and then should be able to get back to Honduras (just in time to board ANOTHER plane for my already-planned Christmas vacation).

Gobble gobble, everyone! :)

You know you're a Republican/Democrat if...

I would like to share some very clever, funny-because-they're-true, political jokes showing the extremes of both sides. You'll laugh at the one about the other party, and then probably laugh harder about the one that represents your party. These are a few of my favorites. And though it seems these kinds of jokes would fuel bipartisan politics, I think the fact that you can laugh at the ridiculous truthfulness from both sides brings both sides closer together.

You know you’re a Republican if…you wouldn’t mind if the Commonwealth of Massachusetts seceded from the Union..
You know you’re a Democrat if…you wish the Republic of Texas never became a state

You know you’re a Republican if…you prove your racial sensitivity by saying Gracias to your gardener.
You know you’re a Democrat if…you’re strongly committed to racial equality even if you don’t personally know a single person of a different race.

You know you’re a Republican if…you write to your congressmen in defense of the interest income tax deduction for vacation homes.
You know you’re a Democrat if…you write to your congressmen and suggest a $1 tax return check off for endangered jellyfish.

You know you’re a Republican if…you liked high school. You studied hard enough to get into the college you wanted to attend. You had a girlfriend with nice hair.
You know you’re a Democrat if…you couldn’t wait to get out of high school. You either were a feminist or dated one. You studied your brains off. You joined the debate team, or the school paper, or better yet, both. You wore black.

You know you’re a Republican if…you got a “B” on your Western Civilization midterm paper. You also got a date with the girl who sits next to you. College is even better than high school!
You know you’re a Democrat if…you got a “B” on your Western Civilization midterm paper. You plan to spend the weekend revising it and on Monday will beg the professor to let you resubmit it. You’ll need to break your date with that doofus who sits next to you. What were you thinking?

You know you’re a Republican if…you have a home aquarium. The big fish kills the little fish. So you get another big fish. They fight constantly. “Animals are like that” you think.
You know you’re a Democrat if…you have a home aquarium. The big fish kills the little fish. You hold a funeral for the little fish. You are at a loss for what to do. You give away the big fish. You put the empty aquarium in the attic. “Whew, no more fighting,” you think.

You know you’re a Republican if…you’ve never seen a government social services program that you thought was worth increasing your taxes for
You know you’re a Democrat if…you’ve never seen a social program that you weren’t willing to pay other taxpayer’s money on

You know you’re a Republican if…you thought your college professors were flamingly liberal.
You know you’re a Democrat if…you are a college professor.

You know you’re a Republican if…you want to stem the tide of illegal immigrants getting into the U.S…. but then again somebody’s got to mow your lawn….
You know you’re a Democrat if…you sort of sympathize with undocumented workers (“illegal immigrants” sounds so, well, harsh) but the unions want the borders closed and… oh, shoot…you’re just so confused!

You know you’re a Republican if…you think every Democrat is a closet Communist.
You know you’re a Democrat if…you think every Republican is closeted.

The one with the Medical Evacuation

What is Med-Evac? Peace Corps loves it’s abbreviations… this one is much more obvious though, not like APCD, COS, VRF, PCMO…..a Medical Evacuation is when a volunteer is sent out of his or her host country for medical care that cannot be provided at post. Sometimes the evacuation is to another country within the volunteer’s region, and sometimes it is to Peace Corps headquarters in Washington DC, depending completely on the issue at hand. A med-evac can last up to 45 days; at that point if the issue cannot be resolved or stabilized the volunteer goes through a med-sep (medical separation) from Peace Corps (an honorable discharge due to a medical condition that prevents the volunteer from being able to successfully complete his or her service).

Why am I on med-evac? The decision was made between the PCMO’s (Peace Corps Medical Officers) in Honduras and OMS (Office of Medical Services) in Washington. I have developed a condition that they want to monitor and stabilize, and make sure I am healthy enough to go back to Honduras. My chances are good for getting approved to go back to country, but I will probably be here for the majority of the 45-day span.

What does med-evac in Washington DC entail? I am put up at an apartment-style hotel in one of six rooms that Peace Corps leases out for med-evac’d volunteers. I am given a stipend for food (along with a complementary continental breakfast provided at the hotel). I have daily/semi-daily appointments with medical staff at the Peace Corps office. I can meet other evacuated volunteers serving around the world. My time without appointments is my own free time (yesterday I found the White House!). Once I am more settled and less flustered, I will hopefully start working on my manual.

How do I feel about the process thus far? I am impressed. Peace Corps really has made a commitment to its volunteers and I have be treated with nothing but the utmost respect from staff here in Washington. They even sent someone to the airport to bring me to the hotel because my flight came in late and they didn’t want me to have to worry about getting a taxi (even though staff in Honduras had already given me a sufficient amount of dollars to cover the cab fare). The people I am working with are wonderful- empathetic, concerned, and determined to fix the situation. I was given an extra sweater my first day because my case nurse thought I looked cold (she was right). Just walking by the office, seeing large photographs of volunteers serving with quotes from JFK, I am proud to be part of such a passionate organization.

When I first arrived at the office, someone working in the reception room (a former volunteer in Guatemala) said he wanted to guess where I was coming from based solely on my presentation. He guessed Ghana, Africa- he said I looked “too clean” to be coming from Latin America. Hahahaaha. I told him I had already taken 2 (awesome) showers in the 10 hours since my arrival. He understood, and we shared a moment of solidarity based on our service in neighboring countries.